A Question

The vast majority of science validates that breastfeeding keeps babies healthy. So why in the world aren't pediatricians REQUIRED to be lactation certified before they go out into the world? Probably because it would put too many of them out of business. Now, because breastfed babies are so healthy, we need to create reasons to treat them: vitamin D supplements and iron supplements to name a few. PEOPLE: don't forget! Babies are big business and profit is the bottom line whether concious or unconcious.
A good pediatrician with who is IBCLC certified: Dr. Jay Gordon. Also Dr. Robert Minkus, IL. gets props from me.....I wish I could find someone like him here in Washington.

Blog-o-rama

My daughters are playing pretend. The couch is currently a trolley car. Annika is saying, "We better seep now."
Tryn responds, "it's dark now, we better sleep. Where's our home? We need a place to be very cozy with lots of blankets. We have to get off the trolley so that we can sleep together." she insists. Now Annika climbs up on the chair with Tryn and they are snuggling up together pretending to sleep. Annika just follows Tryn's idea by constantly interjecting, "we gotta seep! we gotta seep"! A minute ago I started following this because they were both laying on the couch and Tryn, with her arm wrapped around Annika, says to her, "sweetie, we are taking a rest right now, okay?" This was after a long series of jumping from the arms of the couch down to the pillows. One reason having a junky couch is a great thing.
Now the story unfolds with whispered shhhs! and surprised running. Tryn is pretending that a baby toy is a lantern shedding light and then pretends to be scared and seeing a monster. "It's a monster?! we better find another place to sleep! Annika yells "we'd better shoot!" and starts bombing. Tryn concurs and joins in. "All the ghost-es, and monsters, and wolves and bears and foxes and bunnies are coming to a meeting of the ghost-es, monsters, and wolves." They start to shoot. Annika says, "a wolf is coming, a wolf is coming" "I Shooting! Shoo, shoo, shoo." Tryn tells her they are already shot. Annika insists that the shooting must continue. Now a chore chart and stickers distracts Tryn. I think it is time for a few more good fairy tales followed by a nap.

Solids

Tristan is watching me eat and when I put the food in my mouth he is smacking his lips at the same time. Too funny. Normally I have waited alot longer for these ready for solids cues (Tryn at 9 months and Annika at 8 months) and they got teeth around the same time. Now Tristan has this early tooth and I think he will be a seven month starter. Which is the earliest I would ever begin period. The intestine is like a leaky hose to let in huge immunoglobin proteins until the baby starts making them around the sixth month and is pretty much sealed up by the seventh month of life according to what I have read. After policies on starting at the AAP is saying no solids till the sixth month period, intstead of the 4-6 window that was the trend for however long. Inevitably research will demonstrate the less solids in the first year the better. Why folks get so hung up on inferior calorie sources to feed their babies is a mystery to me. Give'em the gold I say!

Four am

CANT SLEEP. My mind is just racing. Two factors, a hard crisis at our church with adultery and a big discussion about birthing with the couple I am doula-ing for and all that replaying in my head. So I prayed about everything that God brought to my mind and then had to get up for a bowl of cereal.
So much that I want to do and so little that gets accomplished. I am again reminded to turn off the tv as an evening default. God is good. My heart is recognizing the bitterness that has snuck in about the job he has given me.
As I sort out the feelings that occur while watching these two people at church fall hard in sin, I am so reminded of God's grace in keeping me where I am and how big sin starts with lots of small, seemingly insignificant choices. But by the grace of God go I. It is disconcerting to hear and my heart aches for the families involved. I am hopeful that God has given none of us anything more than we can bear, and it will all work out for His good....which is ours. There is a certain blessing at seeing our church handle this with the mark of a true church and taking discipline steps and not turning a blind eye. That gives me heart.
The pillow finally calls.

Happy Dutch Girl

First haircut in five months and it is super cool. Retro Fringe bangs (which helps until the new post baby hair fills in) The best part is I went to the local Aveda school and it only cost 12 bucks. Granted, it took two and a half hours, but well worth the time. I mean: Twelve Bucks! It has been twenty years since I spent that little on a haircut.
Saturday again, a up and down week. Tristan cut his first tooth (or I found it on Thursday) and everything made sense after that.

No Starting Gate

I have to write this with the caveat that I have hardly been anywhere in a week and we are on like day 27 of rain here in the Pacific Northwest.
Here we are on another learning curve and the uphill seems to never end. I am to the point in parenting where I realize this is the just the way it is. Always uphill and never static. Maybe it is just the gray drear, but I really want to quit. Getting up in the morning seems overwhelming. I feed the kids and then drink coffee and diddle on the computer until I wake up or someone starts freaking out. Awfully pathetic. I am completely unmotivated to even try. Mostly I just clean up the house so that I can stay here and not be more mental until the there is money back in the envelopes next month. There is no project time. Five minutes here and there, then four hours cumulative wasted time on the internet. I should be reading to the kids two hours a day and I am lucky if it is 15 minutes. They should get fresh air, but that would depend on my getting out of my pajamas before naptime. When I do get a chance to actually clear my head and go out it is late and my verve is gone. Every time I turn around I hit an obstacle and it makes me really frustrated and angry and volatile. So I clean up or try to work out. I just got back from vacation so a break isn't the solution.
I DON"T WANT THIS JOB ANYMORE.
how about a warm sunny beach and no one requiring anything from me for a week?
Time to eat more cookie dough!
Now that's reality, folks.

Today

Kate called me to tell me that she just got married. Now she is going to have lunch and cruise around today.

My Annika turned two. Her present probably will not get here in the mail today.

It is really gray and rainy.

Tristan is sitting up and reaching into the basket and yelping because he can't reach something.

Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" is accurately harmonizing with my mood.

I am really glad that tommorow I go to God's house for rest and worship.

Two Talk

Annika will have her two year old birthday tommorow.
Seen and Heard:
"I making a rainbow"
"But I Love you, Trynee!" arms thrown up in abandon, in response to Tryn waking up crabby
"Get off my butt!"
"Here you go mom."
"okay mapa." Mapa seems to be the occasionaly catch all for mama or papa.
"Good job, gramma."
"Shush, Tristan, Shush. SHUSH! no crying"
"Will you forgive me?"
"I want a gokdog, no bagel. A gokdog." (as I am searching for lunch in the fridge. And no hotdogs.)
"Trynee, its nough! nothing in kitchen."
"Mama, I stuck in the middle" "Can you help me?"
"Will you snuggle me?" arises the plantive bleat from her bed
Singing:
Angels We Have Heard on High. all four verses, with "Shep-erds why dis jooobelee" being the favorite.
Oh Twas a Joyful Sound to Hear
Glori Apatri
Old Mcdonald
Patty Cake
Did ya Ever Go to Meetin
She is loving her dollies and nurses them, changes them, spanks them and gives them lots of rides the stroller.
She is, I am noticing, an observer. Without Tryn when other kids are around she is much more hesitant, watchful. She especially likes to watch other parents and see if she can engage them, which is so very odd to me. She uses her charm moves and they melt. She is also the very physically needy for love one, (just like her mother) which simply means lots and lots of holding, hugging, practicing sitting still on a lap. Tryn is more aware of words and responds to encouragement more, although when I told her that she gives good strong hugs I have gotten alot more!
I fear this time moving by so quickly and yet I am so stinkin tired most of the time. Writing it down is, I believe, my only recourse.

Refreshed

AAhhhh. Hello January 11. How are you?
The past three weeks a huge vacation break back in the midwest. For all the nuttiness I like about Northwesterners I really appreciate a breather with the more wholesome Midwesterners. Simple, solid, not as much fuss or muss.
There was no lack of drama being that my little sister is pregnant by her boyfriend of nine months. They are getting married this weekend. Yep, that's one week after our trip An instance where procrastination really frustrates me because she has had alot of time to get this figured out. The encouragement that my other sister and I gave was probably a bit late (another instance of procrastination) and while I had peace afterwards initially, the fact that it seemed to make little to no difference to her is nagging at me. I start to get irked instead of remembering God's providence. My sister will take the last name Kelso. It really suits her better, she has some ditzy commonality with that 70's show character.
bother.
I am back in the saddle again, laundering, ordering, cooking, making lists and figuring out where to put all the great gifts. Two weeks of freedom are such a blessing to renew the perspective and spirit. I just enjoy my children more after a break from the mundane. Having more of a observers work and less of primary caregiver certainly helps my appreciation level both for what I do and who they are.
This sums up how I am feeling:

there will be time
There is time still
for sitting in cafes
in Paris
sipping wine.
Time still
for going to meet
the guru.
There is time still.
Now I am caring for eternity.
Carrying bodies soft with sleep
to beds of flowered
quilts and pillows.
Answering cries deep out of
nighttime fears.
Buckling shoes.
Opening doors.
Pretending.
My soul now is dwelling in
the house of tommorow.
Tommorow there will be time
for long leisurely conversations,
for poems to write,
and dances to perform.
Time still.
So I surrender now,
to them and this,
knowing it is they
who will teach me
how to do it all.
Peggy O'Mara

From the 2006 Calendar from Mothering Magazine