Amnesia

I find it remarkable, after perusing the very FEW posts of the last two years, how quickly I forget those moments of perspicuity that I have already written about. Phooey! Seriously, pregnancy is like a fog for me, or looking in a mirror that is particularly dark; my brain on hormones seems like an old vinyl record that lost it's needle and keeps cah-chunking, cah-chunk....now that the baby is out and so is most of my hair, I can move the needle to a song or two.
Thankfully, the palpable vulnerability that all of those hormones wrought really refined some sinful deep dross up to the surface and there was no way I could fight that, although I tried and made a mess of myself. Lots of snot and tear-filled pillows. When all is said and done, I am glad to say I couldn't get away from my bitterness, nor my pride, nor my trying to save myself in religion. Hallelujah, can I get an amen? What is it about sin that causes such a shameful hiding and careful controlling which darkens the thoughts and muddles the mind yet that can all disappear the moment you repent?
And through it all there is an answer to prayer. A deep-seated resting and practical working through of to the HOW to be faithful without being all works righteousness/religion based. And just the reminder that allowing bitterness leads to much confusion. Root it out, mulch the soil, apply the pesticide of prayer with thanksgiving. So exactly what all happened while I was pregnant was simply sin + hormonal cocktail = yeah.