On turning 31

It is funny that I write this amidst a day of discouraging feelings but I when contemplating the past year I am certainly thrilled by feeling like I have a grip on who the me is and what to do with her.
The biggest leap this year was getting some pastoral marriage counseling and getting schooled on this whole concept of bitterness. Learning the basics of confessing sin and asking forgiveness has blessed our marriage tremendously and our parenting has certainly been improved. Of course we have lots to work on, but the bridge has been built.
No more shopping indecision. I finally know what colors look best on me thanks to a coloring session with a talented friend. Hallelujah. I can go back to brown and orange with wild abandon! It really was amazing to have all these pieces of colored fabric and a mirror and physically see the difference that the right color made next to my skin. You just perk up and see your eyes instead of the dark circles. Don't need to use half as much foundation and certainly feel better. It also plays out for the hair coloring, I know what isn't going to work.
Since the last baby, my exercising has finally come together for reasons other than purely exterior. Being healthy and having my head clear, as well as blowing off some steam, are really motivating me to keep on moving. Just like the clothing colors, I feel like I have figured out what works and what doesn't in this arena of my life. Next pregnancy there will be no hiatus from exercise.
Organizing for Your Brain Type. The most useful self help book I have read this year. Everyone should read it. Very revelatory and refreshing. I have permission to stack things!
As a quick addition, this week, thanks to friends restringing my guitar, I have remembered how to tune it and play a few chords. The joy it gives me to know that I still have a part of my pre-kid brain that works is Sweet.
Well, today is my day off, thanks to a fabulous husband.
MUST GO!

Flu

Well, I have finally caught the dreaded flu from the baby. Let me just say that I completely understand why he wanted to snuggle by me all day. Thankfully, if I move slowly enough I am not nauseous and can keep food down.
If mama aint happy, ain't nobody happy is in my head. Also disturbing, the negative head talk and beration that accompanies laying around and threatens my sleep because most attempts (other than praying) seem to just lead down another remembrance of a real or perceived failure.
But my husband has been home some of the day and I have no idea how I would have functioned without him.
If Annika got over this in 24 hours and Tristan is at 72 hours what prediction for healing is an almost 31 year old to guess at?

PMS

This was originally a miserable post, but then I did some yoga after dinner and cleared my head enough to perk up.
The sermon on Sunday was about BITTERNESS. Ew, what a sin...and it doesn't get much press. Unconfessed sin pretty much = bitter spirit. (Now, interestingly, bitterness is not something to confess to others as it is discontent with what God gives and should be brought straight to Him.) The spring of bitter waters, however, brings forth malice, evil speaking, and anger. So, if this is what is flowing out of me, then the source can be pretty much traced to a bitter heart. (I think I'll term it the raging waterfall-out). So I have been thinking about my spring. Fresh or Marah? What bitterness do I like to nourish and relish?
Today I followed another bit of sermon advice: when the going gets rough, start singing Psalms. This is not in my comfort zone (I really love griping and groaning!) It is amazing what singing of God's mercies can reveal to a cranky heart.
So onward. My daughter was throwing a huge fit in the car and I overheard her muttering that I needed to move to "Teletubbies land" and then apparently as an alternate "Eygpt." What a trip. She is learning alot about backtalk this week, actually, we both are.

God is Good

The sun is shining this week in Seattle. After an almost record breaking rain streak in January and a huge windstorm over the weekend the sun is a welcome event. It really is an event here. Everyone is outside and running around and things just seem cheerier and less dilapidated.
My oldest daughter was on the swingset for the longest time yesterday, swinging herself and also with her sister on the double glider thing. Her hair is so long flying behind her each time she pumps back. Her little body is so concentrated with the coordination and yet it looks so smooth and polished. I see that she loves the feeling and enjoys sharing it with her little sister.
We made a little prayer book to help us pray for others. In it are mostly the Christmas pictures we received from friends and family this year. It was an idea from a friend's house and it is so great for us all to visualize who we are praying for. Tryn prayed for our little guy in Africa yesterday: "and God bless Felix and keep him so he doesn't die and help him to sleep through the night and wake up with joy in the morning." Pure joy to hear her pray and also remember the Bible stories we are reading. She felt it a critical bit of information to tell one of our single friends at church, "and Samson kill-ded the Philistines." out of the blue of course, which cracked us up.
I am just so grateful for my life and the blessings God heaps on my head. A loving, super smart, diligent husband, three adorable and spirited kids, a church that proclaims God's truth and justice, a house that is cozy and versatile, an extended family with so much personality, my body responding to all the exercise I have put it through, and then The Little Happy Things (lists of which I have made for the last 10 years but not lately)
new MAC lipstick
chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.
A book called "Organizing for your Brain Type"
Magazine subscriptions
Paying off my college loans this month!
Karen Voight Exercise DVD's
It's my Birthday this Month
Getting ebay stuff listed
IKEA-especially on a rainy day
Annika telling me she has poop and needs to be changed
Singing at lunchtime. Tristan trying to sing with us...too cute
Grocery money at the beginning of the month
Snagging new jeans at Goodwill (j.crew and gap)
Two inches lost off my low waist (those were killer situps)
Friends: all of em
hot Starbucks brewed with a shot of cream
Annika running to me and giving me a huge hug and saying Goodmorning!

Time to go!