No Starting Gate

I have to write this with the caveat that I have hardly been anywhere in a week and we are on like day 27 of rain here in the Pacific Northwest.
Here we are on another learning curve and the uphill seems to never end. I am to the point in parenting where I realize this is the just the way it is. Always uphill and never static. Maybe it is just the gray drear, but I really want to quit. Getting up in the morning seems overwhelming. I feed the kids and then drink coffee and diddle on the computer until I wake up or someone starts freaking out. Awfully pathetic. I am completely unmotivated to even try. Mostly I just clean up the house so that I can stay here and not be more mental until the there is money back in the envelopes next month. There is no project time. Five minutes here and there, then four hours cumulative wasted time on the internet. I should be reading to the kids two hours a day and I am lucky if it is 15 minutes. They should get fresh air, but that would depend on my getting out of my pajamas before naptime. When I do get a chance to actually clear my head and go out it is late and my verve is gone. Every time I turn around I hit an obstacle and it makes me really frustrated and angry and volatile. So I clean up or try to work out. I just got back from vacation so a break isn't the solution.
I DON"T WANT THIS JOB ANYMORE.
how about a warm sunny beach and no one requiring anything from me for a week?
Time to eat more cookie dough!
Now that's reality, folks.